held

I feel great, its been a hard week and I feel great. Sometimes when i am down, I can't see how blessed I am. Nothing has physically got better or worse for me, but I can see right now, how blessed I am. Why?
I got lifted up, I was reminded that I am held, and sometimes it feels like we are holding on for dear life, but we, I, you, are being held. Even at that point where you would feel in life that you have let go of God, He does not let go of you. He never let go of me, and I was backslidden for a good 15 years, I could hear that still small voice inside of me, I knew in my life , what i was doing that was wrong, that where I was going didn't make any sense or have a point, there was a gnawing inside of unfulfilment. Why? He held on.
Whatever I'm doing now, in my life with God, in this very real, fulfilling and lifegiving relationship with Him, He holds on. When I am down, and feel alone and the world is against me, He holds on. When I let go , He holds on.
And then what?
He lifts me up and pushes me back at the world again, and I get all inspired and excited, because I know him, he knows me . In 1 john, it says, we love because he first loved me.
Lets go , i've got loads of ideas, I'm buzzing, I wanna sing and jump and love.
And I must remember, all the time, even when I'm down and I feel the world is against me. He holds me.