The Battle is Real

I have found that I have been putting myself under a lot of pressure again, especially with getting back to work, I get myself wound up about acting the right way, being vocal, what am I thinking, etc,etc... very typically me, not God's way though.

I find I beat myself up struggling to be more, but yet in some respects that is the point that should relieve me, I am involved in a struggle, because I have picked sides , because the battle is real, I come up against things in life which I will struggle against. This should not be a matter of shame or guilt, but a comfort that there is something different about me, that I am being changed, and there has been so many changes, it is so easy to spot the failures instead of celebrating victories. If I was not in a battle and feeling like I was not in a battle, wouldn't that be worse. I once again have to remind myself of the joy of battle and who leads me on.

I hope that makes sense.