Wednesday, 29 July 2009

This week

I am busy again, which is good, everyone is fine and things are good. We continue to have the use of 2 cars and we feel provided for, we know there is a plan, we have to stick to it.

Morgan was at camp last week, which was great, he had a really good time, this is the first time he has been on anything like this, he really enjoyed it, got something out of it and I hope it will be the first of many. This is a busy summer for him, he is at his nans now, then is going to army cadet camp for 2 weeks starting Sunday, followed by a few days doing a short mission trip in London. It is different for Mason, as he is a bit younger, but he is going to spend a few days with his nan and grandad in a couple of weeks and when he starts back at school, he is going away straight away.

We were at the hospital today, the baby is breech, so it is looking like a cesarean section being performed on the 24th August. Turaya is wonderfully herself, enjoying being a toddler.

I was out street pastoring on Saturday night, rough old time, I will talk about on another occasion, but that will be my last outing until the baby is born. I am speaking on Sunday at church, I am looking forward to it, a little apprehensive, but I have a good word, I just want to get it across, we will see, that is us, in God's hands.

Friday, 17 July 2009


I have been a bit slack with my blog writing this week, I have been busy, it has been good, I am tired and have to remind myself that being busy is better than the alternative.

This week I have got up early, walked to church and met with someone different each day, to pray together. I have enjoyed getting up early, with a real sense of purpose, I should have that sense anyway, but I don't always have. So to have an early appointment has been good and to start off the day praying with someone else, has been good and wonderfully different, sometimes loud, sometimes quiet, but different and there has been a real sense of pushing forward.

We have also been walking a lot this week, due to a lack of car, which has been good for me and very tiring for a very pregnant Tanya. Since Wednesday evening, a friend has lent us a car till Saturday, another friend will be lending us his vehicle on Saturday and Sunday and then on Monday yet another friend is lending us his wagon for a month, brilliant, eh, real family response.

There have also been other blessings this week, through relationships and where stuff is going, a real sense that God is watching over and looking after us and leading us His way. All is going to be ok.

The summer holidays start now, so I don't know what blogging I will be doing for a while, but I will try to keep people informed.

Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Things are Happening

It has been great to see people over the last week respond, to try to help, even when it is costing people money, there are those just willing to try to help in whatever way they can. We have had offers of car loans for short periods of time, while people are away on holiday or just when they have noticed they could make do with one car in their family for a short period, we have had lifts, I have had to ask for lifts and peoples responses have been great, lots of people have contacted us to let us know they are thinking of us and that their ears are to the ground, it has been great, really nice to see family, acting like family. There may also be some movement for us on the housing front, but it is wait and see time, we really need the right place, and we really want to get it right.

One interesting thing that one person said to me, who is loaning me their car, was that they hate to see cars and houses unused, especially when there are people in need. It reminds me of during my street pastor training, one of the trainers was talking about a time they were speaking to a homeless person and he felt like such a hypocrite, when he thought of all the nice warm church buildings there are, while people freeze on the streets.

I hope I learn a lot about generosity from all of this, it is very challenging, what I am receiving from others, am I going to be so quick to give, I like to think so, but I also know and funnily enough have seen at this time, other people who just could not face someone borrowing their precious object. I am not judging, I am asking myself, because I know I like nice things, would I lend it out or even give it away. We will see.

Friday, 10 July 2009


I expect a miracle, is that a bad thing, I don't think so, I keep looking out the window and expect to see our new car on the drive, I've even got Tanya doing it. I expect it to happen, when it doesn't, it is ok, God has a plan, but I still really expect it, I actually feel quite excited about what might happen.

The way I see it, it is like playing golf, I may have mentioned this before, but I like the analogy. When I play golf, I address the ball, and expect to hit exactly where I want it to go, it does not usually happen, but when I come to hit my next shot, I feel exactly the same way, that ball is going to go exactly where I want to, I am going to hit the perfect shot, and I believe this for the 100ish shots it takes me to get around a golf course, and I will believe it every time I turn up to play golf between now and when I can no longer play. What faith, to stand in front of that ball thousands of times and believe that it is going to do exactly what I expect it to. Guess what, sometimes it actually happens.

I want to keep believing until the day I die, that every day that I pray, every day that I act, every day I step out in God, the miraculous is going to happen, that God is going to show a little bit of His glory in a wonderful and miraculous way, and that I am going to see some amazing things.

I'll let you know when I get my car.

Thursday, 9 July 2009


The Vauxhall Zafira we had, did very well, it had about 150,000 miles on the clock, loads of great memories, one of my and I know my boys favourites, was driving to Northern Ireland, it was a great holiday, on a budget, driving, packed lunches, free activities, one of our best, simple, being together, exploring and having fun, the big car helped.

Yesterday, it was taken away, as part of our bankruptcy, I was waiting for a miracle.

I had someone to phone, to tell them if I could do something or not, I was waiting to tell them I could, and told them I would phone in the morning, I was expecting God to deliver a car after our one was taken, it didn't happen. I still know God has a plan, I was just trying to twist His arm into helping me quick, so that I could do something I wanted to do. In the end, I had to phone and say I couldn't.

Under the terms of my bankruptcy, if I get an asset while I am undischarged, they will take it from me, so unfortunately I can't win a Subaru, but thanks for the thought, it also means someone can't just give me a car, someone would have to permanently loan me one, which of course makes things more difficult.

God is faithful, I know it, in the big scheme of things, this is difficult, it isn't life threatening, I am overweight, so now I can get slimmer, there are going to be problems, I will have to ask for help, until our prayers are answered.

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

So Far

So far this week, so good.
The parenting issue I referred to the other day turned out to be nothing but parental paranoia, yesterday, my snip went as well as could be expected, I am rather uncomfortable, but not in anywhere the pain I thought I would be.

On Monday evening, after I had written some of the things that are going on with me at the moment, I got a bit panicky, I was a bit worried and unsure. In the evening, with Tanya, I really called out to God, I just don't know what is going on, I can't see the light, only more trouble. In response, God really spoke to Tanya and she really felt a need to share Isaiah 54.

Isaiah 54 is wonderful, it has so many statements in that chapter which are the opposite of what we feel now, it is a chapter of blessing, it really spoke into our lives at that moment, and it was enough.

We need hope, we need to know God is with us and when we hear Him say 'I am with you', it shines light and hope and peace and joy into the dark places. I don't know what Paul suffered from when he asked God to remove his thorn in the flesh, but I bet the fact that God spoke, and assured Paul that His grace would be enough, was a great comfort in whatever it was.

The car is being taken this morning, I am praying for a miracle.

Monday, 6 July 2009

Soaking Stuff In Prayer

I have had a wonderful weekend, a weekend of being fed, spiritually and physically, some really truly, wonderful times of fellowship, including getting in Saturday morning at dawn, after a brilliant night of steak and sitting round a fire having a sociable drink with some really good mates. As a family, we had a great meal round another friends home, with some great chats and we all felt really welcome. The fellowship on Sunday morning was really good too, talking to completely different friends and catching up with what was going on in others lives, to finish it all, I went along to the youth meetng last night, which I haven't been to for a while and caught up with what was going on in some of the young peoples lives as well.

This weekend has been a real blessing to me, I have enjoyed myself, and allowed myself to enjoy it, with nothing niggling in the backround, there is a lot ahead this week, I am glad I have that support around me, and maybe God is reminding me of that.

Tomorrow, I go and have my vasectomy, a little snip in the morning and home for lunch, I hope. I don't really know what to think about it, I have heard horror stories and stories of how easy it is. I just pray it goes ok.

On Wednesday, our car is being taken from us, don't really know what to say or do about that, we have to rely on God, I really pray that whatever happens, glorifies Him.

There are some serious worries coming up this week for my inlaws, it is going to be tough, I will be praying for them, and trying to be there, not necessarily physically, as we don't have a car, but you know what I mean, they don't know God, I hope He shines through into them this week.

At home as well this week, there are things for us to deal with as parents, as people with a discipleship responsibility to our own children, we want to face things head on, in prayer and action.

There is also a bit of a furore brewing at the moment with some friends, I will be praying it is nothing, or if it is something, then it can be dealt with properly. I know I am talking in riddles, but discretion is important.

A good weekend, followed by lots going on, it is good, it needs prayer.

Friday, 3 July 2009


Sometimes I come across as a bit intense, always with an opinion about something, a lot of the time looking at the serious side of why something is happening or the serious side of a conversation, and actually I think one of my problems is, I think too much, reading between the lines, when there is nothing to read, going over stuff in my head, it is something I need to work on, and I have been for the last few months, every now and then though I find myself getting a bit moody and starting to read into situations, all a load of rubbish really.

I have a great weekend lined up, a really great social time to look forward too, and a time to laugh and smile and share and enjoy, a time not to take myself too seriously.

I am pretty sure God wants me to be joyful, in all things, I hope I remember it, like most things that I learn, it seems God has to keep on reminding me, He loves me, His grace will suffice, I am forgiven, I am secure and sure of my future, He is with me, live life, being joyful in all.

Thursday, 2 July 2009


I watched some of Superman Returns last night, a fun wee film, and I am sure they do it on purpose, but the comparisons they put in there, of messianic connotations is very good.

An only son, sent by his father to be a light and lead the people of this planet forward, to be their saviour. I like the fact that Lois Lane argues that this world does not need a saviour, and then Superman takes her up high and asks her what she hears, she says nothing, he says he hears everything and what he hears is a world calling out to be saved.

Too often we get caught up in the whys and whats and hows, while the world cries out for a saviour. I know I can be quite insular, I know others can be as well, it don't work, we are not meant to be islands, we are meant to be communities, yet we shy away, we are hospitable, yet not friends, we want to help, yet we will not speak, we talk of family, yet very rarely act like one, and all the time, the world is searching and crying out for a saviour, and we are moping about concerned if someone said an inappropriate word in a Sunday teaching, or if the worship goes on to long, or whether we are liked, or asking what is there for me, we want fed, when we should be flying, we huddle in our comfort zones, while the masses will die.

An atheist group recently put up some posters on buses and billboards, saying, don't worry, there isn't a God anyway. First I am amazed, that they are that passionately religious about getting their point across,( a few months ago I had a 3 atheists on the same day comment in a very negative fashion on one of my posts, great organisational skills) second, I am amazed that they miss the point.

We all want to belong, even the atheist, in their groups, belonging together, trying to save the world from lies, welcome to our world. The hole in people is a need to belong, and the only true place they should belong, that should fill that hole, is in God and His family.
It is so important to be that family.

PS, I need a car. Please pray.

Wednesday, 1 July 2009


Usually on a Wednesday I help at the Kadesh farm project, due to a bit of a mix up this morning I can't today. At the weekend, the project was part of an open gardens day and I have been up there this morning and seen how great things were set up and it is wonderful just to see how things can be turned around, wasteland to used land, with pigs, goats, ducks and chickens, a picnic area and an area of orchard, all being transformed, brilliant.

I have been enjoying the sun, I have a plan, to get as much done in the mornings as possible, so I have returned to lists, which I find I do like, as long as I don't go to hard on mysslef for not completing them, but I am enjoying my lists this week, getting stuff done, then enjoting the weather, it is a luxury. It reminds me of the time I have right now, to enjoy, to help Tanya, who is heavily pregnant, to be with Turaya and watch her grow, to be at home for the boys and be able to be their taxi driver, ( while we still have a car) and to use my time to learn, run the house and relax. I have trouble enjoying this time, I really feel I must, because the time that is coming, may be very hectic, alive but hectic, can't wait. Use the time I have, being ready for the time to come.