I have been feeling a real call in my life to grow up, like in 1 Corinthians;
1 Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to spiritual people.[b] I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in the Christian life.[c] 2 I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready, 3 for you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world?
I don't want to be lagging behind, I want to be running forward in the race, I want to be honest about where I am and run forward from there, like it says in Romans 12;
3 Because of the privilege and authority[c] God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.[d
I have been looking at myself and trying to be honest, not in a guilty, shameful way, in an honest, liberating way, and it is liberating, I want to run in freedom and maturity, like in Philippians 3;
12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,[d] but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
15 Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. 16 But we must hold on to the progress we have already made.
So yes, this may seem a bit random and I have enjoyed using the bible more than me, but I suppose I am just sharing where I am right now.