Tuesday, 30 September 2008

More Barrier Breaking

At the youth meeting the other night, we watched the nooma episode ' Lump ' . Brilliant. He explains that nothing we can do will make God love us any less, nothing can seperate us from God, loosely based on Romans 8: 38-39, It was really good. We then watched a film of an event at an american church, where people came on to the stage with a piece of card, with a written confession or illness or weakness on it. They then turned it over to reveal what God had changed that into. For instance, a woman diagnosed with incurable cancer in 2000, alive and well in 2008, an addict, now clean, etc.........

A real show of how God turns darkness into light, how shame and guilt have no hold over His people. At our meeting, we then did the same. Such great honesty was shown by so many people, these pieces of card, with so much pain and crap, and dark places that was written down and shown to everyone was such a victory. Then to see on the other side of these pieces of paper the way God had turned these situations around, was phenomenal.

Barriers broken down, shame and guilt destroyed, Jesus at work.

As a wonderful footnote, the young girl who came to church on Sunday, has given her life to Jesus.Victory...........

Monday, 29 September 2008

Friday night, Sunday morning

The YC was on Friday night as usual, it has started to get busier again now the fair has gone, no problem with it being quieter, as we have found we have had time to be more relational with those that have come.
We have had a guy who comes along who, without being inappropriate, has had a rough deal in life, has had it harder than most and carries those scars with him. I don't want to go into details, but all we have done is listened and show him a bit of Jesus. When he came on Friday, he said he would like to come on Sunday morning to church and he did, with his girlfiend, and at the end of the service, both went to the front and were prayed for.

The thing is, number one, I did not see that coming, God is so big

Number two, even if he does not come again, that is a barrier broken down, victory.

Number three, we can only do so much, God does the real work, He saves.

I really feel I am seeing God break through in so much right now, He is breaking through, touching hearts, getting people thinking, challenging, I am excited, even though He is challenging me big time, I am so glad that I am along for the ride, what a life !!!!!

Friday, 26 September 2008


I will be very careful here, but I am not a big fan of counselling. You know what I mean, the sit in a room and somebody listens to you for years going over the same thing, and repeats certain words back to you, to show they are listening counselling.

I have a strong belief that counselling should be a process, there should be a goal, or at least the counselling should come to an end, or there fails to be a point to it, and I have to say, especially in christian circles. Jesus was declared wonderful counselor ( Isaiah 9: 6 ) , He also died for the grief and shame and guilt that we carry in this world, so that we do not carry it anymore. I can understand someone needing to be led through that process and I am also aware that we all carry things that we shouldn't, that some things leave scars and these things are not easily dropped. But that is the deal, Jesus gave His life so that we brought to all to him and leave it there, not carry around a burden.

There is also the point of the victim mentality, the counselling addicts, the poor me syndrome of ' If people do not understand what has happened to me, they will not understand me, they will not accept or excuse me.' ' Who is going to pay for what has happened to me' ' Why can't I blame' 'If no one listens to me, am I worth anything'

I don't say any of this without sympathy or trying to understand, but knowing the reailty that forgiveness, worth, love, understanding, acceptance only come through Jesus. Easy for me to say, harder to do.............

Thursday, 25 September 2008

I am quite busy at the moment, sorry for the lack of blogging, I am also a bit frustrated, when I want to be busier, but then I will have the baby with me, or no car, or nothing I am really meant to be doing. I spoke tonight with the baby sitting at a nearby table eating ice cream, she was happy enough. I do like having the baby and funnily enough having to walk, and it is good to rest, I just have to try to get the balance.

I love this quote from 'I Am Legend'

Neville: [talking to Anna about Bob Marley] He had this idea. It was kind of a virologist idea. He believed that you could cure racism and hate... literally cure it, by injecting music and love into people's lives. When he was scheduled to perform at a peace rally, a gunman came to his house and shot him down. Two days later he walked out on that stage and sang. When they asked him why - He said, "The people, who were trying to make this world worse... are not taking a day off. How can I? Light up the darkness."

I want to be busier, but in the right way, I hope I am learning.

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Do you believe He can do it?

Sorry I have not been blogging, just didn't feel like it and I have had a bit on. I am finding that the middle of the week, like right now, is quiet and then from Thursday onwards everything goes manic. I think Monday may become my new day of rest.

I have been reading Matthew again lately, and there was a wonderful thng that Jesus said that just jumped out at me. In Matthew 9: 27- 30, Jesus is confronte by these 2 blind guys, who ask Jesus to have mercy on them. Jesus replies 'Do you believe that I am able to do this?'

I just think that maybe I am being asked that question right now, maybe others are too. Whatever my mess or anyone elses, do I believe that He is able to turn it all around, that He is able to perform a miracle.

I was looking at rain the other day, sounds weird, but it just got me, God made it. A friend of mine said to me the other day he was looking at the sky, and he was thinking 'God made that'
The God I know is a God of daily miracles, of creation and miracles beyond my understanding, whatever the small things I am going through, I believe He can sort it out, He can do it.

Friday, 19 September 2008

Different Faces

These are images of me and how I would appear if I was afro caribbean, east asian, a woman ( with stubble ) a manga cartoon and finally my favourite, a painting by El Greco. I have used quite an old photo of me and must get an up to date one, but what a great bit of fun, which can remind us all of the diversity of the world and how that should be celebrated. here is the website.
http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Transformer/uploadLocal.php, Enjoy, I am getting better at putting on links, hopefully this one will work.

Thursday, 18 September 2008

New Gimmick

I have been sent an email this week, referring me to a website that attaches to this blog and any bible verses I write in, now come with a cool pop up, with the entire verse on it. It makes me feel very sophisticated and professional, even though I know I am not ( I am watching my ego ).

Anyway in celebration of my new toy here are some cool bible verses to get your teeth into.

Revelation 1:10, I want to have days when I am just 'in the spirit'

Ephesians 1:3-14, I am an adopted child of the creator of the universe

Acts 3: 1-10, I want to have the faith to step out in Jesus name

1 John 1: 16, I love because I am loved.

On a different note, I got a text this morning requesting me to pray for Christians in Bangalore, who people are planning to kill today, people today will die because of their love for Jesus. Jesus said it would happen, He said we would be persecuted for Him, He said to be joyful, we will be blessed through persecution ( Matthew 5 ) .
It is so easy to say to be joyful, in our comfortable freedom, while others suffer, I pray that when it comes to me being joyful, when I am being oppressed, I can be. It also reminds me, not to be so silly about how I declare the name of Jesus in this bit of the world. People are dying for His name, I can and will be loud.

Wednesday, 17 September 2008


Tanya and I have signed up to do street pastoring in the local city of Norwich, we started our training on Saturday, it has been a busy weekend, but God has made it easy to do, babysitting and travel have all fallen into place very easily.

I have problems with training environments, I get bored easily, or I try to lead the group, or of course there is the old playing the class clown role I like. I was really pleased with myself for doing none of the above on Saturday, although I did struggle with the after lunch spot, it was interesting for me to see a group of people who are not trying to make it about themselves. Tanya remarked that there were no egos. There should not be, it is an area I struggle with, because I have a huge ego, but I know about it and fight the urge to make it all about me. I find myself nowadays being quieter in groups, to allow others to talk and have an opinion, although I will still be passionate and vocal when the time comes and I am probably still very overpowering and intimidating to some. There are selfish things in me that God wants to get rid of, but I am sure He wants me to be loud and bold and passionate for Him too, it is finding the balance and making sure my focus is about and on Jesus, not me.

Tuesday, 16 September 2008


The youth cafe started again on Friday night, it was quite quiet, the fair was also on and we only had twenty something youngsters, which was still good, and to be perfectly honest, it i nice to get back into things slowly. Also on Friday night there was a prayer meeting going on and I was a bit concerned about the two clashing. Well they did. Probably as God planned they would.

A young lad from the youth cafe, who had obviously had a few beers, stumbled into the prayer meeting, one of the guys thought he might be lost and spoke with him outside, I came to speak to him. He was adamant that he wanted to see what was going on, he wanted to go into the service. Honestly, my first thought was, no, this drunk lad should not be going in and interupting this prayer meeting. I really had to fight it. I told him of course he could go in, one of the youth workers would go in with him and explain what was going on. He went in, people came and prayed for him, he sang along to songs, he came out and had a chat with me. He said he knew he had to do something to turn his life around and he would consider coming along to another meeting. A real barrier was broken down. The young guy will no longer not know what goes on in church, people know him, the people there have an idea now of what goes on on a Friday night and the need that is there, people also have an idea of what dirty church means, I am so proud of their reaction to a drunk youth off the streets, sitting in a prayer meeting, it is the reality of this world and the church needs to be ok with the so called scum drifting in and engaging and asking and being themselves. It is where Jesus was, with the tax collectors and prostitutes, the beggars and the lepors. In the dirty places, showing love, not judging, being honest. In power.

Thursday, 11 September 2008

What is Left?

I was watching a documentary last night on 9/11, I am sure there will be loads on over this period, I am sure there will be loads of blogs written. I remember so much about that day.

On this documentary last night, there was a guy, who escaped from the hotel under the twin towers, helped someone else to escape and then found out his sister and niece had been on one of the planes. He then went on to say that his faith had got stronger through what had happened.

It is interesting, that some people, when life throws all it can at you, cry out 'God , why me', or who then cannot believe in God because of what they have been through. It is why Job is in the bible, everything taken away, but still subject to God.

There are other people that when life hits a mountain, like the guy in the documentary, when everything has gone wrong, when everything has gone, when there is nothing left, cry out and say ' God, I have nothing left but you', 'You are all I have', ' God if I did not have you, I do not know what I would do.'

I desperately want to be in the second category, that when I have nothing left, I pray I can call out and say 'God, I know you are with me'

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Jesus Loves You

Over the summer I read Run Baby Run by Nicky Cruz, I had bought the book for any youth who wanted to read it about 6 months ago, but I thought I would give it read too. Well I hadn't read it, and then when we were going away to the in laws, I noticed it and thought I would take it with me and read it, well I took it with me, but I didn't read it. The last night we were there, I was up late on my own and I put on the God channel, after watching somone else preach, I flicked to another channel and there was David Wilkerson preaching ( He is the minister in the book) and I thought I should really read that book. The next day I started it and was enthralled, especially with the parallels with today. We then went to the Boiler Room in Stanford, which once again was a fantastic time, but I forgot my book, I went into the prayer room, and there on the bottom shelf of a bookcase, on its own, was Run Baby Run, someone had placed a post it on it, saying 'READ NOW' so I did.

The YC for the Diss youth starts again on Friday night. I am looking forward to it, seeing all the youth again, building those relationships, being stressed and having a laugh. I really feel though that these young people need to know something. It is great getting them in the church building, but what good does that do them, most of them do not realise they are in a church. We are showing Jesus' love, but there are plenty of 'good' people in the world, what makes us different, to the young people, we just run the youth club.

The young people are just the same as in Nicky Cruz' time, not fitting in, not loved, not wanted, belonging to each other, expressing themselves with violence, building a brotherhood of brothers in arms to make up for the lack of family, being wanted, trying to find the missing love by giving their bodies to each other, trying to forget it all and trying to be happy by getting lost in drink and drugs, and having no idea who God is. The same then as it is now. Then the same message is true now as it was to Nicky Cruz and the MauMaus then. That is what I would like to express to youth coming through the doors at the YC, through posters, some music and not being afraid to say it in those conversations that we have. This is not a ram it down the throat thing, this is just to be a truth thing.

'Jesus Loves You'

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

The Anti Hero

Why is it there are people in stories and movies, who we like, that are not nice, in fact there are people in movies that are down right nasty or evil and we like them, we cheer for them, we want them to win and they are downright evil. I am thinking of characters like Hannibal Lector, or the Corleones in The Godfather, or in a recent film I watched called 'In Bruges' , a very unsuitable, funny, dark film with an anti hero in the form of a Colin Farrell.

Is it the case that these people are fighting something more evil, we find we have to take sides so we choose the lesser of two evils, is it just that the author or director has given the monster a human side, they explain a backround or circumstances that we accept, when in the real world most people would string up a monster before asking why they are.

Is it that we see someone evil, almost being the good guy and it gives us hope, is it that within every person, no matter who they are or what they have done, there is such a thing as redemption. Of course in the movies redemption is found in saving someone else or the realisation of a life that has only destroyed other lives, and turning away from it. I suppose in a way they are nearly there.

I will be very basic now, but it is the greatest fact that Jesus saves when we turn away from what we were and trust him, and it is even an invite open to anti heroes.

Monday, 8 September 2008


This is my 200th post, I am quite pleased with myself, it is an achievement, and at the moment, or not just at the moment, anytime, any victory should be celebrated, no matter how small it is. I was going to write a post about antiheroes, but I will have to do that another day, since this is a special post, I want to write something happier, so I am going to write about me and where I am.

In the eyes of the world, I am failing desperately, I do not know what is going to happen, I do not know where my family and I will be living in about 6 weeks, there are a lot of things I do not know, I am sure there are a lot of things none of us know. I am going to write something happier, don't worry.

I will tell you what I do know, I know that I am the much loved adopted son of the creator of the universe. I know that, I am sure of that. So the things in the world aren't right, I am in His hands and He is God, I have and will probably continue to sin, He has forgiven me and does not want me walking about under the shadow of guilt or shame, He has set me free from that. I belong to God, He is in control. I know it is an oft used verse, but it is a verse that hung on the wall of my house growing up, and I really get it more and more now, Romans 8:28 ' And we know that all things work together for the good of them that love God.'

I will have moments of being down, moments of guilt and shame, moments of worry, but I seriously know that all things are working together for good, it is all in His plan and in His hands. So celebrate every victory, be joyful, reach out and love, because you are loved.

Friday, 5 September 2008

The Fifth Element

I am a bit of a film a buff, I love movies, maybe it is escapism, imagination or story telling, but I love a good movie, I am a fan of a film no matter what language it is in, there are some wonderful films out there from all over the world, notably, France, South Korea and Russia at the moment are really producing some great films, although France always has. I am not going to get all arty, I just want to explain why many of my analogies come in film form due to the fact that is what I like to watch and I think it is cool to watch or do anything and see God in it.

Well I was reading Isaiah the other day and Isaiah was talking about about Gods coming anger, how God is going to unleash all this pain and suffering on those who have ignored and turned from Him. I suddenly thought of the film the Fifth Element and this dark thing travelling across the universe to destroy earth, and God is not dark but light, but His anger burnt against His people and His anger, righteous anger was and is coming. But in the film, if you have seen it, this perfect being was sent, and stood in front of the world as a defence against this coming darkness, and this being, ( Milla Jokavich ) only worked when she knew love.

Jesus was and is the perfect being and stands between God and us, covering all the rubbish, allowing God to have a relationship with us, allowing us to feel and know the love of God, and all he asks for is love.

Thursday, 4 September 2008


I found this on Sheena's blog, it arranges words on a blog into a piece of artwork, this is mine, I love website gadgets like this, it is a bit of fun. The website is 'wordle'
Although I can't get it any bigger, I am showing a bit of ineptitude on the pc.

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Walk the Line

I belatedly watched the Johnny Cash biopic, 'Walk The Line' the other day, good film, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was even more interested to learn after, even though it is sort of suggested in the movie, that Johnny had a real conversion and followed Jesus, doing loads of evangelistic work and co producing some christian movies. I am glad that you can see a person go into a pit, get real lost and broken and yet there is Jesus standing there ready to pick you up. I have included two pieces of dialogue from the film in this blog, the first piece is Johnny getting to the bottom, realising what he has done in his life, talking to June Carter, later to become June Carter Cash.
The second piece is a great challenge, Johnny talking about playing at Fulsom Prison.

But I done so many bad things.
( June)You done a few.
That's true.
My daddy's right. Should have been me on that saw. Jack was so good. He would have done so many good things.
What have I done?.
Just hurt everybody I know.
I know I've hurt you.
I'm nothing.
(June)You're not nothing. You are not nothing. You're a good man.
And God has given yo a second chanceto make things right, John.

Your fans are church folk, Johnny.
They don't wantto hear you singing
to a bunch of murderers and rapists...
trying to cheer them up.

( Johnny) Well, they're not Christians, then.

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Update again

Right, I now probably have a bit of time to get back into writing some blogs, I have a hundred thoughts and ideas, I want to write down, most of which will never be seen because I will forget what I was thinking.

So this is what is going on with me and mine. Summer has been interesting, times of rest and times of stress, ( isn't it weird that you can make the word rest from stress) , I really believe, as a family, we have had a period of growth, but I think like most this is continual, and we have our ups and downs, but we are trying to be closer, trying to be more patient and understanding with each other, trying not to be so short tempered ( ME ) and trying to spend more time together ( down with tv ). It has been good for me, to have this time of space and freedom with my family all summer, I know it is a blessing and I am grateful and there are now a few jobs in the pipeline which I am really praying will come to fruition.

Tanya will hopefully next week be starting a hairdressing course, which I think will be great for her, a good move career wise and opens up doors to help so many people.

Our oldest son Morgan, who has been home schooled for the last 7 months, is embarking on a mixture of alternative education and team building activities with the help of the youth service and an alternative school, still sort of waiting for funding, but he starts new things today, exciting.

Our next son Mason, is back at school today, he missed school, he loves it, he does well, I only worry that he gets dragged into so much world stuff, at such a young age, worrying how he looks etc.. I am sure he will be fine, just something for us to tackle at home.

So I might be starting work, Tanya will be on her part time course, which does mean that Turaya may have to go in a creche sometimes, I hope that will be ok.

The youth cafe starts up again next week and Tanya and I will also be starting training as street pastors in Norwich, which is all exciting. There is a new season for our youth and I am really looking forward to it and also some really great jobs coming up to do in the community, there are other things too, in the pipeline, exciting, but I will have to wait and see.

The house and finances aren't very good, but God is in it, so we are all really trying not to worry, good times ahead and you are up to date.