Friday, 30 March 2007


I am a very excitable person, I get really excited about knowing Jesus, and I get really frustrated that others don't. I have this big vision at the moment of making a huge torch, a nice six foot tall version of the one above and going about shining it at people, but then this morning on my way into work I had my full beam headlights on, and I was coming up behind someone and I had to remember to turn me lights down, so as not to blind the guy in front, and I thought to myself, I want Jesus to shine into people lives but I don't want to blind them. I don't really know where I'm going with this yet, just a train of thought. Shining not blinding, or maybe showing people the way instead of blinding them.????

Wednesday, 21 March 2007


These two ducks turn up at my front door for breakfast, sounds like the beginning to a joke, but no, they turn up and they will follow me indoors if I'm too slow getting their bread. There is nothing especially profound about this, it just makes me smile, to open my front door in the morning and have two ducks waiting for breakfast. It does remind me of where I came from, and how blessed I am now with where and how I live. So now I will get profound, and look back at how different and lost my life was to where I am now.
I and others sometimes put ourselves under immense pressure to live our lives as Christ would want. While I should always be challenged, I should not put myself under damaging pressure. Jesus himself always had a go at the pharisees for putting people under undue pressure.
I want to be fully immersed in a christian life, I want to do more and the point is, I will because I am driven by He that is in me, I will not feel bad, or pressurised, because I can look back a year ago and see myself lost, searching, hopeless and now, I'm found, alive and saved. I have issues and will continue to, but I will continue to move forward in Jesus. Ducks, eh.

Tuesday, 20 March 2007


Struggling again. There is always something, probably all ways will be. I suppose its how I face things which is important. I'm ok really,feel great spiritually, fine physically. I'm just being moody, probably because I've still given up cigarettes, but i still want to smoke. It comes back to me that what would happen if God woke up in a bad mood. He would have wiped us out so many times by now. But he doesn't, that is a great expression of his love, cause face it you would find man annoying, all of us would. the same mistakes, failing, destroying, killing, suffering, power hungry, selfish parasites, that we all are. (lets not get down about this. its just true)We are still loved and wanted. Wow. Dear God, please never wake up in a bad mood, you might see us for what we are, but while you still love me, I'm going to try my best for you. Amen.

Saturday, 10 March 2007


This is just a quick post, I get distracted, my wife has to remind me what I'm doing. She did not grow up in a christian backround , like I did , and sometimes feels uneducated or small in front of churchy people. I tell you now, she doe not know I have written this. I am not going to tell her. But, she listens to God, She gets it. She keeps me focusing on him. A partner is so important, well for me it is, we build each other up, strengthen each other. If I said that God had told me we should sell everything and move away, Tanya would go, ok, lets go. If it was the other way round, would I? I don't know.I have a big thing about putting God in a box, and how man, as an individual and as a religion, puts God in a box. This is something I will talk about soon, I do it, Tanya reminds me not to. One other point I have to make here. Tanya looks great.

Friday, 9 March 2007


Something I do alot of and therefore put into a context of my life is driving. I drive a lot, work is 90 miles away from home. A lot of time to think, pray, sing. Amazing what you can get up to in a car. The thing that gets me most is what myself and other drivers do, and how that relates to the life we live and our relationship with God.
Right lets go; Signs, how many times do I nearly have an accident because someone has not read the signs, and how about the times I get lost because I don't see the signs, I'm not even looking for the signs, or the ones I see I ignore because I know best. Right time to turn it around;
I, we, the world, don't read God's signs. We don't listen to him, He says stay in the middle lane only, but the left hand lane looks right, we get lost, we cause accidents, heartbreak, sin, pain , longing. I know the best way. Its not my way. Its His way. I have to keep focused on Him, listen to Him, keep my eyes open for His signs and most importantly.... follow them.
Driving is a cool subject, I've got loads to say, but I'm gonna save it up. Can't wait for Roadrage.

Sunday, 4 March 2007


i'm involved in all this petrol stuff in the news at the moment, can't say anymore right now. But what has amazed me most is the hysteria. Reports of vehicles in areas where nothing could have been contaminated, reports of people loading from stations which could not have been contaminated, and the media loving it and everyone believing them and following along, without asking any questions. I just wish they could do a newsflash, Jesus lives, He wants to know you and for you to follow him. People running for churches , hurrah.
It is amazing , something so simple, people are missing out. But what was completely mad was that Davinci code book. Write at the start FACT, and everyone will believe you. So really the simple answer to all this is to start printing bibles with, FACT, on the first page of every one. Except we will be telling the truth.

Saturday, 3 March 2007


I feel great, its been a hard week and I feel great. Sometimes when i am down, I can't see how blessed I am. Nothing has physically got better or worse for me, but I can see right now, how blessed I am. Why?
I got lifted up, I was reminded that I am held, and sometimes it feels like we are holding on for dear life, but we, I, you, are being held. Even at that point where you would feel in life that you have let go of God, He does not let go of you. He never let go of me, and I was backslidden for a good 15 years, I could hear that still small voice inside of me, I knew in my life , what i was doing that was wrong, that where I was going didn't make any sense or have a point, there was a gnawing inside of unfulfilment. Why? He held on.
Whatever I'm doing now, in my life with God, in this very real, fulfilling and lifegiving relationship with Him, He holds on. When I am down, and feel alone and the world is against me, He holds on. When I let go , He holds on.
And then what?
He lifts me up and pushes me back at the world again, and I get all inspired and excited, because I know him, he knows me . In 1 john, it says, we love because he first loved me.
Lets go , i've got loads of ideas, I'm buzzing, I wanna sing and jump and love.
And I must remember, all the time, even when I'm down and I feel the world is against me. He holds me.