Incommunicado

Incommunicado: Deprived of any communication with others.

This has been me for the last few weeks, BT messed up putting someone elses line on, first giving us a cross line, then cutting us off completely, I only got the internet back yesterday. I have missed it, it was frustrating, but it has also allowed for a lot of reassessment of things, priorities and focuses. Tanya said it was like everything shut down so that the only person we could talk to was God. The tv has been off so much in our house, no telephone, no internet, it is good. The tv will continue to be off, it gets in the way too much. The telephone is helpful, I'm not on it that much, the internet and computer as a whole needs to be relegated, to used when needed, rather than the focus and what I do. Although I will be on it for a while now to catch up with emails, some words, budget stuff and other excuses I have.

In my last post I wrote about frustration or freedom. I have been frustrated lately, in all honesty, I have been frustrated for a long time. There is so much I feel I still carry around with me, that I shouldn't. There has been some ugly scenes at my house lately, dealing face on with issues, that have held me and my family back, there is probably more, and there will certainly be more challenges, especially with a teenager in the house, the challenges can be daily.

As for me, I feel like a cloud has lifted, or I am starting to see some light at the end of a tunnel, I am starting to feel freedom, that is not to say that more clouds won't come, or that I am through the current storm, and I am very wary of the death throes of the current beasts I am dealing with, the night is darkest before the dawn. I actually do feel that the last season and all that has gone with it, is coming to an end. My feelings at the moment are not of feeling calm or ok in the lull of the storm, as I have felt before, it is the feeling that the current storm, is being calmed.

I am feeling free, and that is the answer to my last post, freedom. I am back in communication, the lines are open.