Bankruptcy

Tanya and I are now bankrupt. We got into this positon by taking out a large mortgage, a car loan, an overdraft, a credit card and a catalogue account. We got caught in a spiral, which we tried to get out of. We put our house up for sale, nearly a year before we got into trouble with the mortgage, we had already swapped to an interest only mortgage. It got to a point where I could not afford to travel to work, work was getting more stressful, and we were forever chasing our tails, with very little to live on, everything gets maxxed out and Christmas and birthdays are paid for with a catalogue. We prayed, we felt it would be easier to work locally, remove the stress from me, not just paying for things, being away, and then coming home from work after days away being moody dad and husband, our family was being damaged, I handed in my notice. As I did, I really felt God saying to me, now you are giving your life to me.

The local job did not turn up. We had even less, the house got taken away, the creditors kept calling, it has been hard sometimes. But we have felt at peace and supported by the one who we trust, there have been others who have been real rocks as well. On advice the best option for us, was to go bankrupt, we have had to pay to do so, which was not easy, and next week, our car will be taken from us. We rely on it a lot, Tanya is heavily pregnant, the hospital is more than 20 miles away. We are trusting God, we truly have not got anything else.
But the debts have been wiped clean, we are free of them, here we are starting again, reminds me of something else.

I feel like I have to justify being bankrupt, I feel I have to try and convince others that being free of my debt, of things being wiped clean, is good. I think people want me to pay everything back, I am sorry, I tried, I can't, I don't have. As a Christian, God took all my debts, all my sin, and threw them away, never to be seen again, and we rejoice when this happens to someone. But there is shame connected to bankruptcy, the shame that my debt was too big, that I got myself into that position, that I am getting away scot free. I believe in a God who took away my shame, did He let me off scot free, even though I got into all my sin in my life myself. I have to step forward in freedom now and trust God for a car and not listen to the ones who want to throw the first stone.

The slate has been wiped clean again.