Recovered

Yesterday I just sort of splurged forth not a lot, I feel a bit recovered today, you see Tanya is staying at the boiler room in Stanford for a couple of days, rest, sleep and pray, which I am really excited she can do, but I get myself into superman mode while she is away and decide everything must be done and done better than ever, I can cope, I am super dad, I can prove it, I have done 4 loads of washing, I have ironed, moved stuff around, cleaned, cleared, fed and even had time to blog. I even put on a worship CD, to show that I could be spiritual at the same time, I remember putting it on, not particularly listening to it after that, but at least I ticked that box.

The reasons for me acting like this are, 1. I don't want to miss Tanya, so keep busy, 2. I am very proud and have to prove that I am great at being 'super dad', 3. Being busy of course means I can feel like I am achieving and thus, I am worthy of relaxation time and all accolades of praise.

Load of rubbish really, it is good to miss your partner, it is not good being proud and boastful and I should serve because that is what I am, full stop and stop putting pressure on myself, relax and enjoy the relationships, sometimes, well quite a lot actually, I am like Martha in Luke, who runs about making sure everything is done, missing out on what God is saying. I actually will say that yesterday I was doing everything on my own steam, it doesn't work, I missed out, stressed out and ran about.

Tanya is back later, I continue to learn.