Walking

I am dieting and exercising more at the moment, purely health reasons , as I am very comfortable in my own skin, probably too much, I personally think I look great, but I have always felt, that if you cannot love yourself, you can't love others. Jesus is part of that, he has accepted me, no matter how I look, which is probably a good thing, because I'm probably not all that. Anyway....

I was walking, with my daughter in her bright pink pram the other day ( that breaks down barriers) when I noticed a young man walking towards me, with a strut, I mean this guy had a walk, a walk to say, look at me, don't mess, I'm hard. I thought about this front, this young guy was putting on, this defence mechanism. I know I have a walk, I know I put on a face like thunder and look unapproachable, especially when I'm walking down the street and see someone with a clipboard looming. Why?

I know I come from an area where everyone acts like that, it is like we have gone back to cavemen or tribal life, I have to look like the alpha male, be threatening so you will not be threatened. I don't like seeing the strut, I don't want to strut, no one should need to strut, is it only because we feel threatened, or is it about barriers.

It is like what I was saying in my last post, we think of things to put in front of ourselves, to stop people getting close, we put up barriers, when Jesus wants all the barriers knocked down, I have so many different barriers in my life, pride, manliness( if there is such a word), privacy, selfishness, I could easily go on. These barriers stop us going forward, stop the deeper relationships, sometimes stop relationships from occuring at all, stop us from being approached or approaching. They have to be knocked down.

I have some friends coming to visit this week, they are good friends, who I have known for most of my life, my life is very different to the last time we spent time together, their live are very different to mine, I am looking forward to seeing them, I also want to be open with them and show them how my life has changed, I pray I can be.

Lastly, I am taking the youth from church camping on Friday, woohoo, very new experience for me, I also really need a toilet, a camping toilet, I really need to get organiseed this week, we will see how I go, toilets anyone???