prayer

Hello, sorry to all those who pop in daily and have seen nothing new from me, I will blog more soon, I just have a lot going on right now.

I feel great, I have had some really good times with people and some good time with God. All the challenges are the same, it is important how I face them. I have struggled with this, but as worldy stuff starts banging at my door, I have been getting into a better place to smile when it is happening. This can still be hard, I have moments of fear.

I still have no job, but I may be offered one shortly and there is a wonderful and exciting prospect of going in to business with some of my inlaws and become an eco builder. Tanya is busy with her youth info and advice service, as well as trying to tackle street violence on facebook and blog form and also a hundred other ideas, which is good.

Finances are crap, I can't seeing us having the house much longer, all change again, we will be easier led with no house.

Tonight, and for 24 hours, I have arranged for the youth at our church to have a prayer event, we will be praying in 1 hour slots for 24 hours, except for a break at 4am to go and watch sunrise and have breakfast at a nearby beach. I am so excited, I just want these kids to get a touch of the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit is so important in our lives, where He leads and what He does. It is so important to act. Sometimes that is uncomfortable for us, or uncomfortable for witnesses to the work of the Holy Spirit, it can be seriously uncool to speak in tongues, or be knocked over, or laugh, or bring a word, or prophesy. But it is right, we must not lose sight of that, when being seeker friendly has to come into contact with the supernatural reality of God, some people shy away, it scares them. But that spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, is in us, and has to be allowed to work and people have to accept that the God who created the world may do wonderful and seemingly strange things, but the fact is He created the world, you are in safe hands. I want some more.

It is raining outside

It is wet today, and I feel like writing. I think I said in my last post, how I have been feeling, ups and downs. Yesterday I was very frustrated, very moody, not fun to be around, walking about like there is a cloud hanging over me, in the evening, I picked up the bible and started to read. I suddenly realised, that there were things I was doing or wanted to do, that I had not prayed about, I hadn't talked to God about some things at all. I realised that I have read loads of my book on Cromwell, but when was the last time I gave the Bible that much time.

Today I feel great, nothing has changed. Or has it. Today, I got up early and went and prayed with a friend. I have committed time to God and His word. This is not some magic formula, just something that I am being challenged on, it comes down to the fact, how can you hear God, if you are not allowing Him to speak.

God is really challenging my outlook on everything at the moment. I have to say that when you start to question the society you live in, it is challenging, then planning to change the way you live, is exciting, then actually changing, is scary and uncomfortable.

What is a days work, how do you measure this when you are not at work?

Working in the home, have I undervalued housewives, just by asking this question?

School, tests, how necessary, why, is it just glorified babysitting, is it healthy for all?

Monday to Friday, a day of rest can be anywhere, why do I feel I am meant to be somewhere Monday morning ?

How do you tell people your problems, without sounding like you are begging for help?

When did TV become more important than doing, are we going to share our TV memories with our grandkids when we are older?

How do I do more, with what resources ?

How can I be more joyful, when the world is trying to depress me?

and finally, If you took a snaphot of my life at any time during the day, would Jesus be in it?

Just splurging, but these things are making me think, hope they help and don't hinder, I'm not preaching, I'm asking.

Break

I did a lot of blogging last month, this month, I am having a bit of a break. The weather outside is great, I have a lot of career decisions to make, a lot of uncertainties and I have noticed I have not been reading as much, even though I got a load of book tokens, as a leaving gift from my job, and I have used them all. I also have a 12 year old son , who is being home educated, a 1 year old daughter, who is in to everything, a wife, who has a vision to start a youth advice and help service and it is gardening season.

I have been thinking a lot, not always a good thing, my moods can be very different, from high to low, I have been ultra disciplined and then the complete opposite, I have given things to God and then picked them up again, moments of worry and moments of safety, times of insight and times of coldness. Maybe that is the story of life. I just pray for balance right now, balance and relationship.

I would like to write a book, if I got time, I think it would be a story of relationship, my relationship with God, from the smallest childhood moments, to the now and onward, who knows.

Speak soon, don't know when.

Am I normal

There was a programme on the other night I caught a bit of, called 'Am I Normal' . Interesting stuff, it was exploring people and their spirituality and if people who are very spiritual need to be locked up in mental asylums. That is probably a very negative view point of the programme, which was done in a surprisingly unbiased way. There were 3 bits that I saw which were interesting.

1. Sinita, the singer, talking about her faith and showing her worshipping at Hillsong London, which I found really enjoyable,

2. Then there was a piece on speaking in tongues, which showed a neurotheologist in the United States, do an experiment with a pastor, while he was speaking in tongues, where he monitored the pastors brain activity. He found that when the pastor was speaking in tongues, he was not using the bit of his brain that you are meant to when you speak, and it seemed he was not in control. Fantastic.

3. Benny Hinn?

These pieces were interlaced with people explaining what was wrong with spiritual people, how speaking in tongues, is not linguistically a langauge, and lots of theory to brush away faith!!!!!!

I think that is what bothers me now, it is the world turned upside down, the world trying to understand somebody's weirdness, and how do they do this, by using psychology, a science based on theory. Again and again, I see this world rely on theories, because they make sense, because it allows them to continue living, without questioning, without any action needed.
Depressed, take a pill, but we've just found out they don't work, then what. Tongues, can't explain that, must be hysteria, must be brain washed simpletons who need one of those pills that don't work, must put everyone back in a box, then I can rest easy. Is psychology the science of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the unexplained, fear of loss of control, fear of the darkness that rests in peoples lives, that has to be squashed out with pills and a chat.

I always worry about the church's appearance to the world, hence the question mark against Benny Hinns name, ( far to much like a choreographed show for me) it is not for me to worry about, or be embarrassed about, it may provoke good conversation, there may be good done. I need to get on with what I'm doing, how I express Jesus, am I expressing Him, am I enough???

First Birthday

The first time I met my now wife, she said to me, 'Its my sister's first birthday, she's one.' This led me to take the serious michael out of her for the rest of the night, saying things like ' It's my 18th birthday today, I'm 42.'
Fortunately the next time we met, we clicked and the rest is history. That is a good story for another time.

I have been blogging for a year, happy blogging birthday to me. This is my 153rd post within that year, I hope to do more this year, if I have the time, who knows, I may give up the computer for lent or something next year, that sounds like quite a good idea actually, very difficult, I'll have to think about that.

Last thing for today, thankyou all who pass through, the last month has been the busiest for my wee blog, since I started blogging, so thanks for popping in, there is a lot of changes going on in the life of my family and I right now, so to be able to share that has been good.

And finally, for I'm a jolly good blogger........................