Friday 14 November 2008

ME

Moving was stressful, it really wasn't that bad, it was quite easy, unrushed and we had plenty of help, but I managed to become mr mood. I have over the last few weeks become very snappy and lose my temper very quickly, mainly it has been me not communicating how I feel and then losing it at people for not noticing, I can be a bit spoilt like that and start to feel sorry for myself, especially if I am doing loads and I don't feel supported. Instead of asking for help, I let things boil up and then I blow.

This is something I really have to get into my thick head, how can I serve efficiently and properly if I have to whinge, I'm not serving then, I'm being a drain, sitting there saying what about me, am I serving myself or others? Do I seek recognition from man or God? Am I wanting people to come and help so they can see how hard I am trying and doing? When really I could do so much more, if I didn't get so caught up in me and waste so much energy on being negative.

I know God made me big and loud, excitable, encouraging and fun, with a big heart, when I am a moody, angry and selfish, all those good traits might not as well be there, because no one can see them. I think God, as He is changing where we live and what we do, is challenging me to look at me, and start being what He wants me to be, which is the 'who' I really am ( I hope that makes sense).

I love the film Chariots of Fire, and especially Eric Liddel, here comes the quote

Eric Liddell: I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.

Change fast for passionate or encouraging or a singer, or writer, or speaker, or tea maker, or.......

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