Toilet

I had my birthday yesterday, I drank alot, I think I can drink loads, I am stupid. This morning my body reminded me that I am stupid. I wanted to throw up.

Now this is going to sound a bit weird, but as I got back into bed after my visit to the toilet, I was thinking of my experience in very spiritual terms, bear with me.

Now think how you feel when you want to throw up, especially when it is just about to happen, you are in bed, the toilet is miles away, and you run, and you panic and you have to get there, and you manage to get there, and you cling to that bog, desperately, you may still not have been sick, you are at the toilet, its safe at the toilet, if anything is going to happen now, its ok, you are in the safe place, you stare into a place where only bad stuff goes, where your face should not be, and it is ok, and you hold on, burp, saliva, burp, and you empty yourself, via mouth and nose, into the toilet, and its not fun, and you can't breath, and it burns, and its in your hair, and the taste, is well....sick, and your eyes are wet, and we feel so much better, relieved, the room is not spinning, free, to sleep, to dream, to live and do it again tomorrow. Thanks toilet.

I am not trying to be funny or rude. I just felt a certain way this morning ( I wasn't actually sick for a start, just had a few burps, a bit of indigestion), I was not at home, but I felt safe in the loo, and I started thinking about all of the above.

I feel safe with Jesus, when I had reached out for Him, in my desperation, He was there, to take all the bad stuff, and sometimes it has been bad going through all the rubbish, but He is there with me, and He will be there when I screw up again.

It may be a naff analogy, but I am not apologising for it, because anything that keeps me focusing on Him, is cool.