New year, new challenges

My apologies for my lack of blogging, I have struggled to have time to sit down and write. I have absolutely loads to say, but just getting started has been really hard. I am really having to force myself to do this now, but I really feel I need to get over myself and make that extra effort.

As a family, we will be making some very big decisions in our lives this year, we will be setting ourselves apart from a lot of the things we are doing now, we really feel a call to be different, to see the world for what it is, which makes for some tough decisions.

I am going to leave my job this year, it keeps me from my family and from doing God's work, I need to kill this part of my life off and move onto something new.

We have our house up for sale, where and how we end up living is going to be our biggest challenge, as we feel we need to explore community at a much deeper level.

We worry for our children and the amount of compromise we make for the world, for them, to 'fit in'. Fit in to what exactly, the worlds standards, the worlds ways.
As we have been making these decisions, our oldest was attacked quite brutally at school by a large group of lads. He may have said some weird things, I found myself thinking, why did he say that, couldn't he try to fit in. Does that make his treatment right? Are we called to fit in?

I remember as a child a picture in the church study where my Dad was vicar, of the peculiar people, who were a spin off from the Wesleyans . I use to think it was a weird name. Now I think its about right, we are called to be different, that may be peculiar, but it is true.

How many of us, I know I do, base so much of what we do and how we think on what the world tells us, or how the world does things. Schools where they teach evolution as fact, jobs that compromise us ethically, things/posessions we just don't need. I'm not preaching at anyone, I am asking myself these questions and so many more. I sit in one of the wealthiest and luxurious and healthiest countries in the world with so much freedom. Thankyou God, I do appreciate it, but I look around and see people lost, sad, depressed, lonely, struggling and unhealthy, they need freeing. I am now refusing to believe the lie, the lie the world tells me what I need, what to fear, what guidelines to follow, what to do to fit in. I am going to trust in God, I want to fit in with God, what are His plans and His goals and His life, that is not in a box, that is a challenge, that is living.

It is meaningless

I hope you have all had a lovely Christmas, sorry for not blogging, been busy, here I am.

I have been reading Ecclesiastes, different book, can come acroos as a bit depressing, endless talk of everything being meaningless.

But its not really depressing, it is very relevant, it is about searching through life, trying all that life has to offer, and Solomon was in a good position to try what he wanted, he was king, wealthy, women ( he had 700 wives and 300 concubines), he had power.

He reached out into the world and tried everything, spent time philosiphysing, dreaming, building, questioning, working. this was a man who had it all, a man who had lived a life O'Reilly, who had seen more than many of us will ever see, and dressed pretty well by all accounts as well.

What did he find, he found it was all meaningless, I like the picture above, now what. Once you have the job, now what, once you have the partner, now what, once you have the house, now what, once you have had the kids, grandkids, great grandkids, now what, once you have visited the places you want to see, now what, once you have enough money to see you through, now what. It all turns to dust, and what have you lived.

Through wealth, through politics, through the media, we in the western part of the world have become very insular and selfish, chasing securities that do not exist, the commodities to fill our lives, we have believed the lies, now what.

There is a desire in us all to belong, for community, for relationship, it is something that this world fails to offer, or only offers in a way that has a veneer, in other words, like the guy who devotedly follows his football team, thay are his tribe, he is one of them. How deep is this relationship, what is its meaning, or is there a now what? Online clubs and chat rooms where you can suddenly feel like you belong, but without really having a relationship, now what? I picked those two examples because I love Liverpool and I am a blogger, it is not the nature of these practices I am having a go at, I am only asking, is it enough, is it true, now what?

I believe that true community and relationship is found in God, as did Solomon, He is the meaning. His family should, trys, but often fails to deliver true community through Christians, but that should be there goal, and that should be where we belong.

Now what?

Putting that into practice, its a challenge, but I am not alone and it is not meaningless.

Driving Again

I have said it before I know, but I drive a lot, and hence ( cool word) I find myself using driving analogies quite often.

Well here goes;

I think that the way I drive and my reaction to others driving is a great example of how to live and how not to judge and condemn.

For example, if a driver is breaking the speed limit, or driving like an idiot, I can do nothing about it, I can drive the way I am meant to, but it is up to the authorities to inform, stop and prosecute those who drive dangerously, not for me, as I have done, rant and rage at the bad driver. The same in life, it is not for me to highlight what others are doing wrong, that is God's job. My job is to lead my life the best I can, and like driving, I will make mistakes, I hope others are as gracious on the road as God is to me in life.

Lastly, a bumper sticker I read, on a website,

If God is your co-pilot, move over.

Ranting mice

I have mice in my office, I am sitting here tapping my feet, so they know I am here and stay away, they are a nuisance, not scary, I just don't want them running over me as I work. I just feel like a bit of a rant, letting off steam, I have mice in my office, there is freezing fog outside, I am ok. I don't know where I am going with this post but I really wanted to write, so lets see................

I was listening on the radio the other day that there are going to be fuel protests this weekend because of the high price of fuel, but the protests cannot be like they were before because of laws now restricting the right to protest. I then listened to a debate on prisoners held in Gauntamano Bay, without trial, without charge, without rights. I read on the internet about a young man, a footballer for Watford, who was trafficked here as a child, running from the war and strife in Sierra leone, no family, abused as he entered this country, making something of himself, now he is to be deported back.

There are freedoms now, within these so called free countries that are being eroded, sneaked in, accepted. Freedom taken away in the name of protection. Scary.

How do I challenge these issues. I have to live a life of freedom, show that freedom, declare that freedom. Freedom can only come from one place. I am set free through Jesus, He has set me free. It was not that long ago, that I was bound by this world, I face challenges every day now, but if I look back to my life before, I see the victories, I see the fullness of my life now, even when I am tired and down and the world looks a dark place, I know where I have come from and where I am now. The world is a dark place, as I ranted above, but I know freedom, and now I can share and live in that and try to influence freedom being declared throughout the world.

There will always be challenges and injustice, I was once again listening to the radio the other day ( I drive alot), there was a preacher on, he was explaining that when you become a Christian, you don't become a millionaire, your family does not suddenly become perfect, you are not immune from disease, or accidents or failures, the guys in the bible went through all sorts of hardships, they had it tough, all the disciples except John had horrible deaths, John was exiled, but they were free, free in Jesus, He got them through, and they lived the life He wanted them to, showing and spreading His love. Be free.

helter skelter

I like U2, I remember when I was younger my brother Evan had the Rattle and Hum video, U2 live, absolutely great, one of my favourite songs on the video, was not actually theirs, which they state quite clearly, was Helter Skelter, originally by the Beatles, a song gaining noteriety due to its use by the Manson clan, I am getting away from the point again, the first six lines are great, a wonderful expression of life:

When I get to the bottom
I go back to the top
Where I stop and turn
And I go for a ride
Till I get to the bottom and I see you again
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sometimes I'm at a low, sometimes I feel on top of the world, sometimes I go and do things my way, sometimes I get confused and lost, but there is Jesus, yeah, yeah, yeah, and off we go again.

A small analogy, I liked it, enjoy.

The beatles original can be watched on the adjacent page.

Ton Up

This is my 100th blog post. As good a time as any to have a review of things. I have been at work a lot over the last couple of weeks, very busy, only got a chance to write the previous small post.

Over the last month or so, I have felt very at peace, there are the usual worries and struggles, and life keeps getting busier, but I have felt at peace. Typical of me, this started to worry me, I did not feel down, I just had a longing for more intimacy with God. A need deep inside to be closer to Him. I started to look at myself and how I have been in my family and work environments. I don't feel I have been going about things the right way in my attitude to those closest to me, as parent, husband, worker. Sometimes I am running about helping others, then come home and want to know where my dinner is, for example, or the first question to the kids is have you done your homework. Or at work I question whether when I am there, am I showing Jesus?

As I said, everything is good, but that is what the last post was about and in the last week I just feel like I am chasing God again, peace is nice, peace is good, what about risk and living the on fire dream, peace and passion that is the balance to get. I know I am babbling a bit, thats why this is a blog, I'm just very excitable.

On Friday, I really felt God tell me to attack hell, in terms I would use, He charged me to attack, how do you attack hell? You live His way, in love, showing love, breaking through with love, that was also another reason for my last post, all of my feelings and all of what God is saying to me right now, is to live a life of love.

That of course is easier said than done, but what a great challenge, I pray I am up to it. Love.

love

A quick post..........love.

In any relationship you are in, with any person you know, when there is someone you see who you feel is going the wrong way, or maybe you like to criticise, maybe you feel by telling someone, with all good intentions, how they should be living, or acting, or not doing. I am sure that you have had people say to you things'in love.' or maybe you have said things 'in love.

I really feel this is not the way, show love, love people, put that love in your relationships. God has always loved us, but we see in the old testament that loving us and telling us what we had to do, we could not live up to Him, we failed. We are the kids who you tell no to, and still go and do it, as kids do. Jesus was sent to show us love, He loves us so much, that He died for us.

God loves and forgives continually, He changes us inside out by loving us, not condemning, not telling us what we have done wrong. When we come into a relationship with Him, we know what we have done and we continually change because we feel His love and grace. You will not change people or their ways by telling, condemning, advising even, but through that same love. Show love the way you have been shown, it obviously works.