parenting

I wrote my last three posts on 1 night, but this is up to date. I have wrote about parenting before, but I want to come at this from a different angle.

This is very personal, so stick with me.

Tonight I had an argument with my oldest son, which very nearly turned physical, he is 11, he just wanted me to go away, he did not want to face up to his responsibilities, he would not allow me to be the parent, to tell him what he needed to do. I was told to leave his room, maybe I am old fashioned, but that is not acceptable, I am still the parent. But I got very angry, again.

Parenting is so hard, it can be heartbreaking, guilt ridden, scary, painful, frustrating and yet beautiful, fulfilling, loving, exciting, awesome.

As a parent, I believe, is the time when we are most aware of God's nature.

I read great books of great people, doing great things, single, childless, like Paul, and I can understand what he says about, not being married or having children, it allows so much more time and energy, such freedom, I don't know if I am looking at things the wrong way, but we need people like that, its biblical, yet we have swallowed the world view, that everyone needs a mate, etc......

We are so quick to tell our young, they need that relationship, that model family, I can't remember seeing that family once in the new testament. Parenting, partnership, family is hard, it takes devotion, hard work, patience and lots of love.

As a parent, I don't even know what to say sometimes, I am lost, trying, but lost.

I have been thinking tonight about the old testament and the new, and how this reflects my parenting. I try just to love my children, to guide and love them, to show them what is best for them, trying to teach them the best way in life, showing them the way to act, interacting with them, building a relationship, advising, admonishing, pulling them up.

God does that, always has, always will.

Guess what, my kids don't want to do it my way, they don't want to do it anyones way, they don't even know what way they want to do it, except, their way. They would rather not bother, rather not clean, work, have respect for themselves or me or my wife, plus so much more.

Guess what happens next, I come down like the wrath of God Himself, I come down, over the top, vicious and hard. I am dad, you will love me, respect me and do as I say. I know best, and honestly, I am looking after your best interests, all you have to do, is do as I say.

I don't think my son agrees. I look at the old testament and feel rather small.
God has been doing this for thousands of years, telling us the right way, loving us, blessing us, punishing us, looking after us. Generally as man, we said, we know best.

So, you did not give up. Can a parent give up. I hear about it, on trailer trash tv, but can a parent give up, can we get caught up in our own parental nightmares, we dismiss others because they can't be as bad as ours, we blame it on the other parent, we forget what it is like to be loved, we dwell on the sins of parents and people, and dismiss those closest to us, because it easy to forget, it must be, because parenting lasts a lifetime and beyond, when does the parent give up.

Its such a good job, God does not give up, we come into the new testament and understand, we did not make the grade, we are crap kids, we never get it right, all the bad things as God's child to do, I have done most of them.

My father in heaven says, I love you, accept me into your life, I sent my son, He died, your sin is gone, your paid for, all the crap that was there, I accept that I am not perfect, that I have ignored you, I want to live my life starting now. Jesus reigns and when I screw up , He will still reign.

I know my dad reads this blog, but, I love my Dad, plus I really like him too, and I bet if you speak to him, he will tell you how hard it has been, and about times he got it wrong, as we all do, but to receive the love back, he loves it, especially from his grandkids and knowing that on some level his children listened, got that love, got a bit of God.

You see that is the biggest point as a parent, as I come down like a ton of bricks on Morgan, my son, I will still be here today to love him. I will not give up on him, should I? what if he never takes my advice, never wants to know God, or His way of life, or even worse he wants to live his life the way I did and ignore God and me.

'Bruce Almighty' is a great film for illustrating how you cannot force anyone to love you or God, you cannot force them to follow your way, you cannot get them to forget the past, or anything you or others have done.

I can emigrate to a bubble, it would be easier. Life is so much better if you can afford to live without people or relationships, its just not real.

I can make excuses for myself or others, but I would be a liar and a hypocrite, the only way I can parent, that is best, is to love my children. I love you all, I pray the best Dad going can continue to teach me. Thanks.