The Next Step

Back to my tale.

I have already said, that throughout this story, I was searching. Well it got to a point, where nothing else made sense. You cannot have 2 conflicting truths, karma cannot sit with grace, the spirit world cannot sit alongside heaven. So much of what I had read, seen and listened to, started to fall down. I was left with God, the God of my childhood, the God I had prayed to, but I still didn't think He had it right.

As I said the other day. Tanya and I, with our 2 boys, had moved into a caravan, a bit difficult, we were searching for more, for freedom, for escape. I still had my job, so I had to commute quite a distance, and at this time, I began to pray, I mean I really started to talk to God, question, chat and pray for people. I still didn't get it though, I was still justifying myself, justifying anything I did wrong, justifying my desires, I was still doing so much, that was wrong, destructive and dangerous. I thought God was alright with it, scripture is vague, there are all these gnostic gospels to give me more excuses, I can still know God, but I don't have to do anything. I was getting somewhere though.

After a couple of months in the caravan, we wanted a house again, but we refused to go back, we decided to drive around and find somewhere new, somewhere fresh. We drove out into the country, to the seaside, to different places, and then one day, we stopped for lunch in Scole, which is a village, next to the town of Diss, where at the time, 3 of my 4 brothers were living, everything felt right. We went to the different estate agents. There was this big house, for a bargain price, we just wanted.

So we moved to Diss.