Beginnings

I have had what many would call a different life. As a child, difference is like a disease, as I have grown, I look back and see what has made me and I notice the sometimes boring lives of my peers and realise I was blessed. I was born in Belfast, Northern Ireland, but moved to England as a very young child, (although I retained my accent for many years) my father was a minister, and got a job at a baptist church in Grays, Essex ( Don't worry, I'm not writing a life story, I will try to be brief). I, at this time, had 3 older brothers and a lovely mum, and I, even though I was so young, have some wonderful memories of this time in my life.

My mum died when I was 4. Cancer. As a 4 year old, the only thing I remember in my head, was thinking, was that my mum had gone to heaven, no more pain. I think we could all do with looking at things like a child sometimes. Simple, but honest.

My dad remarried, he resigned as a minister, we had to move, we gained another brother, things were very different, what seems in my memory, very quickly.

As I grew, in our new home, I started to encounter things I had not before. At school, I was a paddy. I started to notice, we were not very well off ( something, we probably never were, but I had not noticed, the world has a lot to answer for). I started to experience different forms of church, I have to say, I saw some amazing things, heard some great people speak, met some really cool people. As I grew, I probably became more ashamed of this to my peers. that disease, difference, while I actually spoke to God more, my life was moving farther from Him. I never denied Him, I never said His name in vain. He was there in my life. Just at the back of my mind, until the quiet moments. Or Sunday morning. My life moved my way.

God was there watching. I wanted to do my thing, to fit in, to be me. Drink, drugs, sex and rock and roll. At 17, suddenly, living with my girlfriend, no family, no church, God forgotten, in my quest for me.