Today

I wanted a funny picture today, I like funny church signs, hence picture. I like the word 'hence' too, I always tell my children to come 'hither', another good word. Enough of this randomness, yet I am a very random person.
My wife tells me, I don't always finish my sentences, I just find as I am saying something, it leads me into some other thought and I start talking about that and the same happens again. It is like my faith and my life, I have trouble verbalising exactly how I am feeling or how I am being led, this can also end up in verbal diarrhoea and often I find writing so much easier, but even then, as you can read, I start to babble. This can also come across, writing or talking, as judgemental or angry. I am probably both of these things, but do not intend to be either.

I am feeling quite down this week, even though on Sunday, I had a really great experience and a really great word, a real filling of the holy spirit, a real reality check of God being in my life, brilliant. Now I feel down, I am not worried, I feel sad, maybe it is getting use to a new situation, this new way of life sinking in. Worries on the horizon and I'm not sure what is going to happen. Maybe that is why my previous 2 posts have been about faith, exactly what I need more of. Saying that I don't feel worried, and there has been a closeness of God, so I am wondering if I am in mourning. Mourning a job and friendships of 10 years. Mourning a place that I grew up in, that really is no longer part of my life, mourning a change in lifestyle, in earning, and what also may be my house, maybe . I will be signing on this week, a good lesson in humility, I am a very proud man, maybe that is something else God needs to deal with. In His hands be it.

Upward and onward. Hence, I go hither.